“Mommy! Santa.”
“Mommy! Santa ho ho ho!”
“Mommy! See Santa! Santa Caus!”
You’ve guessed what’s coming. Off to see the fat man we went.
Now, before I share this photo, I must plead my case. Dear friends, let me tell you, I loathe the mall. Hate it. Avoid it all costs.
I also loathe lineups. Particularly lineups full of crying screaming squirming children.
But I LOVE my daughter, so face the music I did. I bundled her into an adorable Christmas outfit and braved the line and the crowds and the kids and the obnoxious parents who think their ugly kid is soooo cute in destroying everything within a ten foot radius, and while there was one moment of panic – nothing terrifies a parent more than a hint whiff of poop, (Oh gahd was it my child? Was it? Was it? -as every index finger in the vicinity is immediately yanking out the back of every diaper it belongs to.) and while history would suggest that it was my child, Christmas miracles do happen because it wasn’t.
However, Christmas drollery also happens because while Piglet has the power of dropping a stink bomb that could clear a room, (inherited from her father, obviously) she also has a great sense of humour and blames whoever happens to be nearest; and thus, during a collective sigh of relief from many a parent eliminating their child as the offender, she shouted a loud & clear ‘Mommy toot!’ for all to hear. Ho, ho.
So finally Santa drags his ass around the corner and picture time begins. Piglet was SO excited: ‘Santa Santa see Santa Santa Santa see Santa see SANTA!’
Until she got a look at him. I swear it was a mid-breath halt – “Santa see Santa see Sahhhhhhhh…. insert small gasp which she immediately choked on, followed by four tiny limbs death-gripping around my leg.
Come Hell or high water, this child was going nowhere.
Now, dear friends, put yourself in my shoes. The outfit, the parking lot, the mall, the line the kids the shrieks the noise ahhhhhhhhhh! Not to mention the fact that I’d already purchased our package and now after all this there was no way in hell I was leaving without it.
Besides – watching this two second transformation was absolutely hysterical. It was SO funny, friends, in that way that only a parent can laugh at a crying child because they know the cry is not one of real pain.
And so, I whisked us both up to good ol’ St Nick and two teenage elves captured the moment that will forever solidify my title of Worst Mother Ever:
Fa la la la la, la la, LA!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
this is GOLD!!! Now i do have a photo of myself at about piglet’s age doing the exact same thing… But i must ask… What ever has happened to actually sitting on santa’s knee?? Where did this PC chair next to santa come from??
Oh! There is no chair beside him, you can even see that we’re out of the ‘frame’ area! I’m merely squatting on a block. Ha.